#13: Out of office

Hello and happy Tutti Frutti Day to all who celebrate 🛐

Today’s newsletter comes at you from both the past and the future, as I’m currently on holiday in Iceland pretending to be a #NatureGirl and searching for the Northern Lights. I’m most certainly posting too much on Instagram about these pursuits, so you can follow me there if you’re keen for updates.

Since I’m probably frolicking among some volcanic landscape or swimming half-naked in a geothermal pool at this very moment, I’ve prepared a brand-new (¡flamante! one of my all-time favorite Spanish words) segment to keep you entertained in my absence.

I wanted to use this space to feature a ciudadano ilustre, someone that plays an essential part in making Buenos Aires the unique and unforgettable place that I love so much. A person whose own vision of (and relationship to) the city inspires me to keep seeking out its hidden gems, stories, and characters.

In the off chance that I start having too much fun abroad, their words can also serves as a reminder of why I should get on the plane to come back home.

🥁 Introducing… Carlos Cantini

I’ve known Carlos for almost a decade, which feels kind of nuts since I only moved here five minutes ago. Bonded by our pathological love for our dogs and los rituales del café, he’s one of my porteño kindred spirits.

I also figured that if I were going to try something new with Tutti Frutti, we had to start off strong, right?

A prolific writer and cultural historian, Carlos has a special way of transmitting quiet magic through his vignettes; his work offers a glimpse into the Buenos Aires of yesteryear and its evolution through today. His storytelling is crafted with such meticulous care yet reads so effortlessly, it makes me wish I had just an ounce of his talent.

Also, one of my most cherished BA memories - 2015’s Superclásico Gourmet (I feel like that event is worthy of its own newsletter, please let me know your thoughts) - involved Carlos, so whether he likes it or not he’s kind of stuck with me forever.

You can subscribe to Carlos’s fabulous newsletter here (and read past editions here). He’s also on Twitter and Instagram, like any good digital citizen of the world.

🍒 Tutti Frutti Questionnaire, Vol. 1

Without further ado, I present the Tutti Frutti Questionnaire. Inspired by and adapted from the timeless Proust Questionnaire, naturally.

Conveniently available in both Spanish & English, for all your bilingual needs.

1. ¿Cuál es tu calle favorita de Buenos Aires?

No la califico de favorita, pero fue la primera que se me vino a la cabeza al leer la pregunta. Es Florida. Creo que sus once o doce cuadras son una línea de tiempo de cómo la ciudad e(in)volucionó desde la Colonia, la Caída de Rosas, la Organización Nacional, la Oligarquía, los gobiernos populares y el tembladeral económico de las últimas décadas.

Me gusta recorrerla. Claro que puede encontrar más bonitas, pero ninguna me cuenta mejor a Buenos Aires.

2. ¿Cuáles son las cualidades que te enamoran de la ciudad?

En el amor todas parecen cualidades. Propongo cinco cosas que me atrapan: los cafés, los parques, las reuniones hogareñas con amigos, las pizzerías y los teatros.

3. Si murieras y volvieras en forma de barrio porteño, ¿cuál serías?

Montserrat.

4. ¿Dónde se sirve el mejor café de la ciudad?

Uf, de qué ciudad estás hablando. Cada Buenos Aires tiene su mejor café. Que puede ser uno tradicional, confitería elegante, de especialidad, de parado o carrito empujado a mano. Respondería que sería en cualquier café que abra a las 6 de la mañana. Por lealtad al barrio y cumplir con la consigna voy a elegir uno de proximidad, el Roma de La Boca.

5. ¿Cuáles son tus escritores argentinos favoritos?

Mejor digo de cuáles tengo más publicaciones en mi biblioteca: Jorge Luis Borges, Jorge Asís, Osvaldo Soriano, Roberto Fontanarrosa, Dalmiro Sáenz, Adolfo Bioy Casares, Martín Caparrós y Hebe Uhart.

6. Para vos, ¿cómo se ve un “perfecto momento porteño”?

Una noche de miércoles yendo al Teatro General San Martín con posterior pizzería. Ídem para un recital en el Ópera o Gran Rex.

7. Buenos Aires: ¿de día, o de noche?

De 6 a 8.30 am.

8. ¿Qué cambiarías de Buenos Aires, y qué es lo que te gustaría que no cambie jamás?

Cambiaría el código urbano con penas de cadena perpetua, sin excepción y juicio popular, para quienes construyen más alto de lo permitido. Impulsaría un plan de recuperación de cúpulas en los edificios que las han perdido por incendios o desidia. Obligaría a las empresas limpia plazas y parques a que sus barrenderos vuelvan a usar escobas de paja y dejen esos horribles y ruidosos espanta todo lo que tenga vida.

Crearía una tarjeta CAFÉ para que los jubilados tengan veinte cafés gratis por mes. En fin, cambiaría de gobierno sin ninguna duda. Ya fueron muchos años. Chau muchachos, gracias por todo.

Y que no cambie más nada por favor. Basta del Cambio.

9. ¿El mejor souvenir o recuerdo que una persona se pueda llevar de Buenos Aires?

Un abrazo de amigo al pie del avión. Habría que formar un grupo de abrazadores en las salas de preembarque con personas de todos los géneros y colores para que el pasajero elija por quién quiere ser abrazado, y antes de subir al avión llevarse una promesa de “te llamo y nos tomamos un café”.

Y si tiene que ser un objeto que sea un Obelisco en cualquiera de sus formas y usos.

10. ¿Cuál es tu lema?

Qué difícil. En términos cafeteros tengo uno: si la patria se hizo a caballo la historia se escribió en cafés.

Y hablando de patria sostengo un interrogante aún sin respuesta: ¿Con el maravilloso país que tenemos, qué hacemos todos viviendo en Buenos Aires?

🇦🇷 Ahora, in English

1. What’s your favorite street in Buenos Aires?

I can’t qualify it as my favorite, but it was the first that came to mind when I read the question. Calle Florida. Its 11 or 12 blocks serve as a timeline that shows how the city (d)evolved from its time as a Spanish colony to the fall of Rosas, the Organización Nacional, the Oligarchy, the popular governments, and the economic shake-up of the last decades.

I enjoy taking strolls there. Of course, I can think of more beautiful streets, but none of them tell the story of Buenos Aires better.

2. What qualities make you fall in love with a city?

In love, everything seems like a quality. Instead, I propose five things that enrapture me: cafés, parks, social gatherings at home with friends, pizzerias, and theaters.

3. If you were to die and come back as a barrio porteño, which would it be?

Montserrat.

4. Where’s the best cup of coffee in BA served?

Hm, it depends what city you’re talking about. Every version of Buenos Aires has its best coffee. It could be in a traditional café, an elegant confitería, a specialty spot, or on-the-go from an old-school coffee cart.

I’d say that it’s in any café that opens at 6am. For my loyalty to the neighborhood and the original prompt, I’ll choose one in the vicinity: Bar Roma in La Boca.

5. Who are your favorite Argentine writers?

Better for me to say which appear the most in my personal library: Jorge Luis Borges, Jorge Asís, Osvaldo Soriano, Roberto Fontanarrosa, Dalmiro Sáenz, Adolfo Bioy Casares, Martín Caparrós, and Hebe Uhart.

6. Name a quintessential BA moment.

Any given Wednesday night, going to the Teatro General San Martín and having pizza afterward. Ditto for a concert at the Ópera or Gran Rex.

7. Buenos Aires by day, or by night?

From 6-8:30am.

8. What would you change about Buenos Aires, and what do you hope stays the same?

I’d modify the City Code to require public trial and lifetime sentencing (non-negotiable) for anyone that constructs higher than the allowed building heights. I’d propose a plan to restore the cupolas that have been lost to fires or neglect. I’d require the companies tasked with cleaning the plazas and parks to make the street-sweepers go back to using regular brooms instead of those horribly noisy leaf blowers that spark terror among every living thing.

I’d create a CAFÉ card so pensioners could enjoy 20 free coffees a month. Finally, I’d swap out this government, without a doubt. It’s been too many years already. Goodbye boys, thanks for everything.

Let nothing else change, please. Enough Change already.

9. The best souvenir or memory a person can take from Buenos Aires?

A hug from a friend just before boarding a plane. We should create a designated group of huggers in the boarding area, with people from all walks of life, for passengers to choose by whom they’d like to be hugged before departing, taking with them a promise of “I’ll call you and we’ll go for a coffee.”

If it has to be a physical object, an obelisk in any of its forms or uses.

10. What is your motto?

This is tough. In cafetero terms, I have one: If the homeland was created on horseback, its history was written in cafés.

Speaking of the homeland, I have a question that remains unanswered: Given the magnificent country that we have, what are we all doing living in Buenos Aires?

Thanks for joining us! If you want to recommend any other ciudadanos ilustres to be featured in future questionnaires, just drop me a line.

Wish me luck as I try to find my way back to civilization from the glaciers, lagoons, and waterfalls.

Until next time,

Paige

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