#20: Feeling festive

Hello my most beloved readers,

Can you believe Christmas is two weeks away?

In another universe, I’d be writing this for you from La Mary, the Uruguayan retreat of iconic TV diva Susana Giménez.

Instead, I’m hunched over my laptop in Recoleta, squinting at the screen because I can’t find my glasses, and wondering if I’ll have this done in time before I have to head out the door for a work event.

In the spirit of the season, and given that I have been on nearly back-to-back trips with Wild Terrains since November, I thought today we’d briefly explore the magic and misery of celebrating the holidays in Argentina.

🎁 That Time I Ate Retro Argentine Christmas Food and Filmed It for YouTube

I miss having unfettered access to a cable news network’s TV studio and free rein to turn my stupid creative ideas into reality.

Back when I worked for The Bubble (RIP, they really did you dirty 🥲), we thought it would be funny to get the best (i.e. worst) foods that Argentines eat for the holidays and film ourselves eating them. All while wearing the requisite total white uniform, of course.

I’m going to be honest, the place where we got the food was pretty gross. It definitely did not provide the best representation of these iconic dishes, so it would be fair to say that the platos we filmed didn’t really stand a chance.

But I guess that making random people on the Internet angry comes with the territory, so whatever.

I’m also proud to identify as a vitel toné fan (but only when it’s made really well). Ensalada rusa is in my fridge more often than not, and I’ll even find myself craving some matambre on a semi-regular basis.

🎁 That Time I Wrote About Argentina’s Holiday Traditions (or Lack Thereof) and Made People Mad

Almost two decades later and I’m still not accustomed to warm-weather Christmas, the race to rip open gifts at 12:01am on the 25th, or the overall lack of holiday spirit in Buenos Aires.

I wrote the piece below for MALEVA back in 2021 and figure there’s nothing wrong with sharing an oldie but goodie. Reduce, reuse, recycle, Rihanna.

Some translated excerpts for those of you that don’t speak castellano:

Let’s start with the weather, which makes all of us worse people. Who thought it was a good idea to celebrate Christmas when it’s 104° with 120% humidity? In what world is that dignified? Seriously, someone please explain because it’s one of the most insane things I’ve had to experience. Santa Claus lives in the North Pole. According to Google, that is 8,567 mile from Argentina. You do the math.

There’s nothing worse than getting together for the family photo and realizing afterwards that all of your makeup has melted off and now you look like a character from a horror film. Best regards to your dad’s nice white button down shirt, which all of a sudden is totally soaked with sweat and is now completely see-through.

Then comes the day after, like it never happened. Christmas is over, baby. On the 25th there’s nothing to do, and if you don’t have a pool you’re destined to suffer, suffocated by the heat in your tiny BA apartment while everything is closed for the holiday, and you try to keep the A/C running at -19° in a vain attempt to feel some sort of cool sensation while re-watching Home Alone. Fewer things are more depressing, and I would know because I’ve done this for over a decade.

Maybe my perspective is too cynical, negative, reductive. If you think I could benefit from calming the fuck down, you’d be right. I just miss it. I miss the anticipation of going to sleep on December 24, knowing that the next morning I’d run downstairs to open gifts. I miss the smell of pine that permeated the house thanks to the big, beautiful tree that we decorated with my parents. I miss having my family close by.

At the end of the day, a perfect Christmas isn’t about the weather, the menu, or the presents. It’s about surrounding ourselves with the people we love and those that love us. In that sense, then, and as always, Argentina couldn’t do it better.

🎁 Random Photos of Diego Maradona Celebrating Christmas

Because there’s always a snap of el Diego for any occasion. Enjoy.

🎁 Y si no nos vemos… ¡Felices Fiestas!

In a classic Argentine move, I’m going to take some time off between now and the new year. I’ve been all over the place with work trips, getting ready to move, and generally trying to survive the fin de año craziness that plagues us every December.

The result? I can’t really move my neck, my hair may or may not be falling out, and I’m seriously considering going off the grid without returning.

I’ll be back either January 8 or the 15, depending on how quickly I get my act together after Christmas. Maybe I’ll just share photos of the increasing amount of cardboard boxes as they build up around me. If you don’t hear from me after a while, it might be safe to assume that I’ve been suffocated by one final roll of bubble wrap.

I wish you and yours a happy holiday season! May the family drama and dysfunction be kept to a minimum, the egg nog and champagne free-flowing, and your shopping list completed well ahead of schedule.

Until next time,

Paige

Enjoying Tutti Frutti, live in Argentina, and want to support this (and future) creative endeavors? Consider supporting the newsletter by clicking here.