#8: We're here, we're queer

With Pride Month coming to an end, it’s time to reflect on the gay agenda™ and highlight the latest in our cultural successes and milestones.

We’ve been bopping our tits off thanks to Charli XCX, Tinashe, and Chappell Roan and justice for both Britney and Janet was served thanks to an opportune DWI arrest. I received a marriage proposal from a drag queen dressed as a harlequin and added a very cool carabiner to my collection.

Based on this alone, I’d say we’re doing pretty well.

It also means I’ve had even more gay on the brain than usual. Essentially, instead of actually ~working~ I used my precious mental energy to think about aspects of Argentine life and culture that are unequivocally gay.

Why? If you’re asking me why, I don’t really know what to tell you, Mabel.

But First, a Brief (Gay) History Lesson

Argentina celebrates Pride in November. Before you make some joke about how they’re always late to everything (which is funny because it’s true), you should know how this came to be.

Many cities around the world host their Pride marches and celebrations on June 28, which commemorates the 1969 Stonewall uprising in New York, a series of clashes between queer civilians and police following a raid on the Stonewall Inn in the Greenwich Village neighborhood.

Remember that we live below the equator and therefore our seasons are reversed. As you post up poolside, forgetting to reapply your SPF while tackling the pile of New Yorker magazines you’ve managed to accumulate, we’re bundled up next to the estufa, cursing this city’s damp humidity that gets into our bones and causes the ultimate chill.

Since exposing immunocompromised individuals (like those living with HIV) to harsh winter conditions isn’t considered a smart idea, queer community leaders and organizers started looking for an alternative date following the first Buenos Aires Pride March on July 2, 1992.

They learned that Argentina’s first LGBTIA+ organization, Nuestro Mundo, was founded in November 1967, prior to Stonewall, and thus chose the first weekend of that month as the local date moving forward.

And voila! It’s now the most wonderful time of the year, complete with as much glitter and sunburn as you can handle. Bonus points if you’ve never had your phone stolen or gotten separated from your friends before somehow making it to an afterparty where everyone is wearing a harness.

Shortlist: Argentine Things That Are Gay

I love how gay Argentina is. What a dream! It was the first country in Latin America to legalize same-sex marriage, and our gender rights and identity laws are some of the most progressive in the world. Pride is the year’s biggest party and protest, a reminder that visibility will never stop being important.

Deep-seated machismo and gender roles persist, but las disidencias forge ahead. Queer history is intertwined with the complete spectrum of the human condition; it’s present in every aspect of our lives. To live in Buenos Aires is to engage with this on a daily basis, to laugh and celebrate, to reflect and remember.

Without further ado, here it is: an incomplete list of Argentine things that are gay, otherwise known as “Paige’s brain rot brought to life.”

Caniches

You might not understand my vision, but bear with me. Let’s review the evidence:

• Bred for looks, not personality? Gay

• Terror-adjacent tendencies in a tiny package? Gay

• Yappy 24/7? Gay

• Every family has one? Gay

• Convinced they’re the most important thing in the room? Gay

Also, nothing screams “queen” more than the toy poodle that fell from a 13th-story building in Caballito and triggered a chain reaction that caused three deaths as a result.

Gauchos

Gauchos are high camp. The outfit says it all: practical pants that double as a billowy skort, ornamental belts, fierce headwear, and a neck scarf for added flair. It doesn’t really get much gayer than that.

Something about the campo in general just feels super queer to me, you know? It’s also basically a butch lesbian’s paradise, with tons of manual labor and arduous tasks that need to be handled, lots of dogs, and plenty of time to be alone and yearn.

Despite the persistence of cultural stereotypes and impositions, there’s a new generation of people dedicated to reimagining what folklore argentino signifies - and what it can look like.

⁠Fútbol Fanaticism

I’m sorry, this is gayer than the Swifties and Britney fans combined. Don’t get me wrong, I love it more than anything - and actively participate every four years when the World Cup rolls around - but I find it absolutely amazing just how over-the-top the emotional involvement and blind dedication becomes when it comes to soccer in Argentina.

While stan culture isn’t exclusively queer (OGs will remember that the term stems from that one Eminem song), no one does fervent obsession and passionate loyalty to superstar celebrity figures like the gays.

Or hinchas de fútbol argentinos. Full-grown men break down in tears if a game doesn’t go their way. Rituals known as cábala must be respected, no questions asked. They name their children after players from the national team. And don’t get me started on the literal witchcraft stuff during the last World Cup.

Also, have you seen some of the tattoos that they get? If you do one thing with this newsletter, please make sure it’s clicking on that link. Or this one.

Vedettes

Adriana Aguirre, Moria Casán, Cris Miró, Susana Giménez… the list goes on and on. Nothing is gayer than a multi-hyphenate woman who looks great in a feather headdress, a bedazzled thong, and isn’t scared of a little plastic surgery.

Overtly camp, when it comes to vedettes there isn’t room for subtlety. These leading ladies are cabaret darlings that can sing, dance, act, and stir the pot when it comes to showbiz drama. They marry (and divorce) famous, terrible, and famously terrible men; we rejoice in their wins and deeply lament their losses.

Vedettes have given their lives to el mundo del espectáculo and are the backbone of Argentine popular culture. Not to mention, their ability to persevere and evolve would make Cher proud.

Honorable Mentions

If you know, you know.

• Rollerblading around the Rosedal

• Therapy culture

• The mesa dulce at any wedding or other big event

• Using a straw for everything

• Pope Francis (you know why)

• Rugby (it’s those tight little shorts)

• Medialunas (bisexual icons)

• Obsession with the bidet

• Carnaval in Gualeguaychú

• Flan mixto (another bisexual queen)

• Lymphatic drainage massage

• Biodanza

Let’s Go Lesbians

Last week one of Argentina’s most emblematic and important photographers, Sara Facio, died at the age of 92. A pillar of Argentine photojournalism, Facio photographed dozens of important figures, including Maradona, Borges, Pablo Neruda, Gabriel García Márquez, Mercedes Sosa, Astor Piazzolla, Silvina and Victoria Ocampo, and Ernesto Sabato.

Facio was also a lesbian who enjoyed a nearly four-decade partnership with musician and writer María Elena Walsh. Walsh authored some of Argentina’s most popular children’s books and music and is cherished by millions. In the 70s, she bravely spoke out against the military dictatorship, using her creativity to evade censorship and backlash.

A beautiful example of enduring love and artistic companionship, their relationship is a source of hope for all of the romantics out there.

“Sara Facio buying the apartment next door to María Elena Walsh and knocking down the wall that separated them so they could live together. And nowadays the greatest romantic gesture a girl can hope for is a Like on an Instagram Story.”

I think we’ve reached our gay quota, so I probably should let you go. After all, July 1 is looming and we don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Humor aside, thanks for reading. To be honest, I still catch myself wondering if I should “tone it down” or generally be less vocal about my queerness. Holding my breath, hoping you don’t see me differently, worrying that you might decide I’m no longer someone you should care about.

It’s a journey that’s as beautiful as it is challenging, and one that continues to reveal new perspectives and possibilities. I’m grateful that you’re here and hope you enjoy finding that beauty in the liminal spaces as much as I do.

Until next time,

Paige

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